New Beginnings
By Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.
Health Articles / Self-Help Title / Relationships

Have you noticed that along with the joy and excitement of the New Year's season, there's also an underlying feeling of sadness? For many people, January and February are months for reviewing the year that has gone by, measuring how it met their expectations and taking stock of the ways in which they have developed or grown. This can be very
cleansing, but at the same time, they become aware of their disappointments, both in others and in themselves.

Whatever has happened, or hasn't happened for you in the last 12 months, there are three steps you can take now in order to start a new chapter for the new year ahead: 

Step 1: 

Realize that in order for the year to be new, you have to be new. No matter how much we may want to hold onto old relationships, plans and dreams, life itself is a series of changes. When we resist change, we resist life itself. Though difficult at times, change brings new growth, values, goals and understanding. As we say good-bye to old ways of being (which we've outgrown anyway), we can open the door to new experience and fulfillment. Along with the joy of new growth, growing pains can be common. Don't be afraid of a little sadness or fear. It is natural and to be expected. Welcome it with open arms in the realization that new life is on the way. 

Step 2: 

Look at your past year with fresh eyes. Most of the time we focus upon the negative aspects of a year gone by. This kind of thinking leads to depression, so use the next 12 months to change this habit. Instead of dwelling on the wrongs of the last year, concentrate on everything that went right. Make a list of the good things that happened to you. Make a list of the ways in which people in your life pleased you, and the ways in which you pleased them as well. Make a list of the things you admire and respect about who you are. The more you admire and respect yourself, the easier it is to embark and succeed at new goals and dreams. By focusing on what went right each day, the year will be truly new. 

Step 3: 

Give thanks. Each day find five things or people to give thanks for. Write this down. Then, actually call or write to at least one of the people on your list, and offer them thanks for who they are or what they've done. This is a wonderful way of freeing yourself from the feelings of deprivation and resentment that most of us walk around with each day. It is also a wonderful way of realizing the enormous support that is available to you. Use this bounty of backup for realizing new dreams and accomplishing goals. 

The new year has endless possibilities. You may make resolutions and create many new goals and dreams. However, without a strong, consistent, positive focus, in subtle ways you undermine yourself. So build up this new perspective. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and others all year long. 

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Discover how to overcome common relationship problems by working with the unique self help program by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna.
www.truthaboutlove.com